Come Back PodcastNichelle Nelson shares her amazing story of why she chose to come back to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints after exploring other religions, and being out of the church for a number of years.
Nichelle reconverted to the church without her husband, and she shares her experience of a mixed faith marriage.
You will love this story of faith & hope.
"I prayed so hard for the desire to want to change.
I know without a doubt I could not have done that without our savior Jesus Christ.
There was another force, another power that made it possible for me to change because I, myself, could not have done that." - Nichelle
Transcript
Ashley Stone
00:00
Okay, Nichelle, I am so excited to have you on the podcast. It's kind of crazy how, you know, somebody told me to reach out to you. And then, you know, my co editor, Lauren, who, by the way, shout out to Lauren, she is freaking amazing. And this podcast would not survive without her help. So then she has a friend that is friends with you. And so it's just totally meant to be that you're on the podcast and so, totally, you know, God orchestrated this to have you here. So I'm just super excited to hear your story. So why don't we start off with like, a little bit about you, um, you know, just your family what you do? Like, what you do? You know, all the fun things?
Nichelle
00:49
Okay. Um, well, I have two kids. I have a seven-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. My husband and I have been married now for about nine years. I am going to school actually. This semester, starting tomorrow, just BYU online, and studying family history. Definitely I wouldn’t be choosing that but I definitely feel it's right. Here I am.
Ashley Stone
01:19
So awesome.Yeah, that is so cool. And do you live in Utah?
Nichelle
01:22
I do. I live in Midvale, Utah. I've lived in Utah my whole life.
Ashley Stone
01:27
Awesome. Cool. Well, yeah. So if you want to start from the beginning.
Nichelle
01:33
Lovely. All right. Both of my parents were raised in the church. They taught the gospel in our home. But my dad struggled. He struggled with abusing drugs and alcohol, pornography. He wasn't faithful to my mom. And at the age of three they decided to get divorced. And about a year later, my dad decided to end his life. So yeah, my mom didn't get remarried for a long time. It was just my mom raising my sister and I. She is an amazing woman. Hardest working, most selfless person I've ever met. She truly gave my sister and I everything. She definitely emphasized a relationship with Heavenly Father. There were so many times throughout my life that I would walk into a room and now being a parent myself, doing this as well. Just on her knees praying just throughout the day. Or, you know, as she'd be doing the dishes and be praying, and I knew that that's where my testimony of a Heavenly Father came from was from watching her and knowing that like, reliance on him every single day. Yeah, so we, she, we went to church, we did all the things. But it was very much like a checklist thing. I felt like I didn't find that connection to spirit or to the reasons behind going to church or the gospel itself. It was more of like a checklist process to me. But she did, she emphasized scriptures, we would read scriptures every single day as a family. And I think, seeing those routines now I recognize how important that is whether or not our children are recognizing it at that time. So my mom remarried when I was about, I think I was ten years old. When they got remarried, I struggled as a youth especially after my parents got married. And I struggled with mental health, OCD, anxiety and depression at a very young age, I was very out of control with my thoughts. I was very impulsive as a child-- kind of all over with emotions. But I also had this side that was a perfectionist. In elementary school even, I'd asked my teacher, how much percentage do I have in class? And if it wasn't 100 I was always like, can I do extra credit? All these things. It was just very, this perfectionism kind of took over. And in ninth grade, I smoked pot for the first time. And I was like, wow, I don't care. Like this is amazing. I don't care about this, needing to be perfect, needing to do all these things. And it kind of just went downhill from there. I grew up in Highland, Utah. And there is a serious problem there with abuse of pharmaceutical medications that I think leads to harder street drugs. And I got into that quite a bit. And at the age of 15, I ran away. I was gone for about a week and My poor mom was searching for me and searching for me. And I would call her and I’d just say, you know, Mom, I'm okay. One time she called me and I was at a skate shop on State Street in Orem. She was about a block away, and she had just finished praying to help find me. And for whatever reason, when I was on the phone with her at that moment, I said, Well, I'm at this certain skate shop, she flipped around, came and got me and took me to a residential treatment center, where I spent about nine months. And in that process of learning tools, and healthy ways of coping, I was put on medication to help find that chemical balance that was necessary that I was very much lacking. And, all good things came from that. But when I got out and started facing life again, I just started making choices that were hard. That were dark. That's when I started getting into harder drugs. I was very dishonest, stealing, lying, those things just came back into my life again, almost at a greater force. But I started having friends overdosing and dying. And so, I just decided I was done with that. I really utilized those tools that I learned while I was in the program. So I know that when I tell my mom this story, she's like, Oh, my goodness, we wasted so much money. But it wasn't all for naught. I think every time that we go through something like that, we do take little pieces of that.
Ashley Stone
07:28
I think it's funny because of how similar our stories are. Like, almost identical. I went to a treatment center for 15 months when I was 16. And I feel the same way about it. Like, my therapist from that program. He's still, to this day, he is such a good friend. And, I don't think that I would have made it through my teen years had I not gotten there like yeah, I totally screwed up when I got out, like, almost right away. But I think yeah, like, it prolonged my life. And it just like, it taught me that I could be sober like I could. I had it in me and there was a piece of me that could be sober and find joy in sobriety. So, so yeah,
Nichelle
08:20
Absolutely. It's interesting, right? Those people that see us in those deep, dark moments, how close they remain to us. So yeah, those people that go like, see us in those darkest moments, how close they will be coming to us, like my house father, he ended up marrying my husband and I. It was really cool that he still loved me after what I put him through.
Ashley Stone
08:50
Yeah, I feel the same.
Nichelle
08:54
So, yeah, going back to my youth, um, I definitely felt at that time, still every now and again, you know, I was, I'd go to church, I would pray. Praying was definitely something I often turned to, but mainly when I needed something, you know, needed help. That's when I turned to prayer. But life straightened out quite a bit. I still drank a lot though. And I smoked pot a lot. And I was still, you know, just pretty wild for a while. And then I met my husband. We met on MySpace. That dates us. So I knew of him through a friend. And yeah, we started talking on MySpace and like AOL Instant Messenger, and we moved in together pretty quickly after we first started dating. I remember moving into my apartment and my mom came. My mom and my sister and step dad came and had dinner with me. And they said, Why is Casey’s stuff here? And I was like, Oh, I'm just storing it for him. Because I didn't know how to tell them. Hey, I moved in. Yeah. And so during that time, he actually, he mellowed me out quite a bit. I wasn't as impulsive with things. He taught me that to fight with someone or argue you don't have to yell. Yeah, things like that, that I definitely had it in me. And I actually at that time, I, you know, I wasn't, didn't have anything to do with the gospel. I wasn't going to church. And I started getting into yoga and meditation, studying Taoism and Buddhism. And I definitely felt that that brought, like this grounding and a connection to divinity. And it's still such a valued practice in my life now. But it definitely, like, helped. It helped my life quite a bit with that.
Ashley Stone
11:22
And at that time, did you feel like, like, Where were you at with the church? Were you kind of like, okay, like, I don't believe in the church, or I believe in the church, but it's too hard. Or, like, what were your thoughts surrounding the church at that time?
Nichelle
11:36
Yeah, so I felt like, my biggest thing was, how can there be one religion for all the types of people? Um, that was my biggest question at that time.
Ashley Stone
11:53
I think that's a question that a lot of people struggle with.
Nichelle
11:57
Yeah. And so that's where I was at with it. I didn't have any animosity. I wasn’t angry. I actually remember a time being with my husband or my boyfriend at the time, but my husband now. We were up at a friend's house. And they had a friend over and he started just talking terrible about Mormons and saying awful things. And I was just like, Wait a minute. My family is not like that. Yeah, don’t put us in a box. So like, I still had this, like defense, like, standing up and being like, no, you don't even know what you're talking about. Right. But yeah, I may not be a part of it, but like, back off, yeah, get your facts straight, you know?. So that's kind of where I was at with that. But I remember my husband and I, we had been living together for quite some time, and he asked me to marry him. And I actually had been bothering him like, hey, I want to have babies like, but I want to be married. So like, Let's get married. And then he asked me to marry him. And I remember he was in the shower, and I was sitting on the bed, and I said a prayer. And I said, Heavenly Father. Can I marry him? And I will never forget this voice inside my head that said yes. But it will be hard. And I thought for a long time, I was like, oh, man, that probably means that he's gonna get like, injured and like, hurt or get some sort of a sickness? Who knows? You know, that's where my mind led. But, yes, so I was like, Alright, we're gonna get married, and we got married. We moved into my parent’s house, so we could save to buy a home. And at that time, my mom and I had sat down and I was like, Mom, you can't like tell us to go to church. She like very much respected that and she let us do our thing. She let me do laundry on Sunday. If I wanted to, I went grocery shopping. Like, she just let us do our thing, which was so great, that she respected that I know that that had to have been hard to not be like, please don't do that. You know, this is my house. And I wish I had been more respectful and thought of that. But again, she was just so loving and kind and welcoming. Oh, I probably should note that my husband was not raised in the church. He's never been baptized. He's been a part of like going to non denominational Christian churches on like Easter Christmas. And so, yeah, I remember actually, sorry, going back a little bit he had told me, one thing I'm afraid of is that you're going to go back to the church. And I was like, Oh, honey, I haven't gone to church for like 10 years like we're good. And so yeah, that's what makes this story all the more wild, but um so we're at my parents house and we ended up having our first child there.
After my husband and I got married, I remember feeling like we were missing something. And I felt like okay, maybe we should have a baby. And so yeah, we had my son and I ultimately know without a doubt, I needed to have my son before I ever started tapping into the gospel. Before I ever started coming back to the church before I started coming back to Jesus, I knew that I needed to have my son because he is ultimately what made me question whether or not I need to define that truth. And so I feel like that all of these things just line up exactly how they're supposed to.
16:19
About when he was one years old, we were about to move into our house. And we bought it in July, but then we didn't move in until December. We were doing renovations on it. And two weeks before we were scheduled to move out, missionaries came to my parent’s doorstep. And I was like, Mom, we talked about this, what is this? And she's like, I didn't do it. And so they asked if they could meet with my husband and I and my husband was like, oh, yeah, we can eat. Sure, why not? And they were like, we have a challenge. Like, you know, they ended up challenging us to read the Book of Mormon. And I was like, Do you want to do that? And he's like, Sure. And so we read it. And we read it twice together. And he was like, I don't know what that's talking about. Like, I'm not down, you can keep doing it. Like,
Ashley Stone
17:23
Wait, you guys. Wait, you guys both read the Book of Mormon twice? Like two times through or twice?
Nichelle
17:29
No, TWICE, Like together? Okay. For like five minutes.
Ashley Stone
17:33
I thought you were saying like you read it two times a day. That is really good.
Nichelle
17:39
We were not that. We got, like about two, five minutes out of 10 minutes total. Yeah, we read and then they came back, the missionaries came back the next week. And they brought this man from the ward with them. And this man was like, there is this talk that I just feel like you should listen to. And I was like, okay, like why not? I don't know. It's just like a why not kind of a thing. And it was a talk by President Nelson. But he wasn't a prophet at that time. And it was Joy and spiritual survival. And I remember listening to that talk and feeling what I recognize is the spirit now, but feeling that's so strong that I was like, Oh my gosh, this is the best I have ever felt. Like, I was like, wow, this is amazing. And I knew that those words that he spoke were true. I just knew it, there was no doubt in my mind that what this man was saying was a man who was connected to divinity, who knew so much more and was so wise. And so I was like, okay, and then we moved, and I was like, Okay, this is great.
Ashley Stone
19:12
What was your husband thinking? Like you read that talk, and you're feeling all, you know, spiritually warm, and what does your husband think about it?
Nichelle
19:22
I didn't share that with him. I did not share with him what was going on. He knew I was still reading the Book of Mormon. Because at that time, I wanted to know if it was something I needed to teach my children. And so I just kept reading it. And I just kept praying. And once I had felt that speak, you know, that to have that spirit reading that talk, I was like, Okay, well, if the Book of Mormon is true, I'm gonna receive an impression, I got to receive, like a big, something like that, you know, I'm just gonna keep reading it. And so I just kept reading it. And then literally two days, after we moved into our house, we had boxes lined up everywhere. It's the middle of winter, I'm pretty sure the sisters should not have been out at this time, especially in Midvale. But they were and they knocked on my door. And I was like, hey, like, who sent you? And she's like, we just felt like, we should come and say hi. And I was like, What in the world is happening? So they asked if they could meet with me, and I was like, not at that time, but we scheduled a time for later. And I just loved them coming to my home. Like, the feeling that they brought to my home. I was like, Oh, my goodness, this is amazing. Like, you can just come all that time. And so they kept coming. And I kept praying to want to know actually, wait a minute, I got this sorry. This is my mind. I gotta go back. Before the missionaries came, I kept praying, you know, to know if the Book of Mormon was true, and it was several months like it took a long time. Until I will never forget, there's these little moments that I'm like, I can't deny what I felt and what I knew at that moment. And I was driving on State Street coming home. And I drove under this underpass. And I had, let me say, like, I had been listening to conference talks on repeat, because I was like, I was chasing a high. I wanted to feel that spirit, I wanted to feel it. I was like, oh, man, I was listening, like all the time conference talks constantly. Um, and I remember just praying so hard, and being like Heavenly Father, I don't even know what I'm doing. But I gotta know, like, I've got to know if this Book of Mormon is true, and if it's what I need to teach my son. And going under this underpass, I was, like, I just knew, I just knew, and I pulled into my driveway, and I called my sister. Because I knew that if I didn't tell someone that I was going to deny what I had felt, I knew I would talk myself out of it. Because I knew that what this meant was going to blow my world up. And I was terrified. I was terrified with what people were going to think of me. Are they gonna think I'm like, being judgmental of them? How am I going to tell my husband who was afraid to marry me because he thought I would go back to the church. But I knew that I couldn't deny what I knew at that time. And so, I did keep it to myself for about a week. And then I remember laying in bed with him. And I just said, Honey, I gotta tell you something. I said, I know that the Book of Mormon is true. And what I need to teach is in there. And it’s of Jesus and it's of love. And it's of truth and I've got to be able to share that with our kids. And he was like, Okay. And I was like, whoa, okay? Um, and so yeah, I just kind of after that still was meeting with the missionaries. And even after a few months, there were times that it wouldn't work out. And we couldn't meet every week, but we met pretty consistently. And they were like, do you want to go to church? I was like, I don't know. Because I was still drinking wine. I was still smoking pot.
24:16
I was, you know, not living life in a way that I felt, I guess maybe I could go to church? Obviously, we can,anyone can go to church, right? Churches are for anyone, Jesus is for every single person in this whole entire world. And I just was like, um, I don't know. And I ended up going. And I remember being so terrified of judgment. And I walked in, and there was this man in jeans. And he smelled like cigarette smoke. And I was like, I can be here. I never saw that man again, but I know that he was there on that day, to make me feel like I could be there. And I'm so grateful for that man, who was there. And so, um, yeah, I went to church. And then I kept meeting with the missionaries. And they were like, you know, what if you like, have you ever thought about going to the temple? And I was like, Whoa, we are going over some things and like, I just was very open with them. I was like, I'm not living life in a way that would allow that. And they were like, I just think that you should pray about it. And so, um, I kept praying and I kept wanting to know if that was something that I should do. And it took quite a while and I ended up getting a limited use recommend to go in and do baptisms for the dead.
Ashley Stone
26:05
Um, was it hard for me to quit drinking and quit smoking, like, because it had been like how many years that this is kind of like your regular routine.And how was that to give that up to be able to go to the temple?
Nichelle
26:27
Absolutely so hard. Absolutely, it was very much a part of my life. If my kids went to bed, I would go out and smoke. And it was just a normal thing to me. And I ended up, I failed a lot. I failed so much. But I started opening up the Book of Mormon and reading instead of going outside. And like I said, I would do that, and I'd have a great day, and then I wouldn't have a great day, and I'd make the other choice. But I prayed so hard for that desire to want to change. And I know without a doubt, I could not have done that without our Savior, Jesus Christ. There was another force, another power that made it possible for me to change because I myself could not have done that.
Ashley Stone
27:27
I have to say, I relate to this so much, just everything you're saying. Because I went through the same thing, like I was fresh out of rehab. And I was working towards my limited use temple recommend, and I was like, I don't know, I don't know if this is it for me. Like, is the church true? I don't know. Like, if this is gonna make me happy? Is this true happiness? And, I mean, it wasn't that I was like, doubting if the church was that, well, I wasn't thinking about is the church true or not? I was just like, is this gonna make me happy or not? And giving up cigarettes and coffee, coffee, giving that up was so hard. And I think smoking cigarettes, quitting, that was really, really, really hard. And then, quitting the Nicorette gum, and what you just said, like the power, it's that enabling power through the Savior's Atonement. It enables you to do the things that you couldn't do otherwise. And it's, it's like, unless you're I don't know, like, you can't really describe it, like my day every single day, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, like, I'm just trying to, like survive coming off of drugs, but like, I'm able to quit these things that had kept me in handcuffs for years. And it's like, it's just so miraculous. And so that's what kind of prompted me to ask you this question. Because it's so amazing what you can accomplish and what you can quit or, you know, start doing with the Savior's help.
Nichelle
29:20
Absolutely. I love that. It's true, change comes, change is possible with the Savior, like change that you don't think is possible seems so paralyzing, or impossible. It is possible. And so yeah, I mean, stopping smoking pot was one of the hardest things. Drinking was very easy. Um, but yeah, it was very hard, but I started turning to the scriptures for that high again, you know, um, but I didn't receive that same, you know, that same spiritual high over and over again. But there are these exclamation points in my life that I can't deny. And so yeah, I ended up receiving that limited use recommend, and I have to say, meeting with my bishop. I am so sorry. I'm gonna butcher but I wasn't meeting with a man. I was meeting with someone in place of the Savior. 100% of the things that I told him over years and years, I'm like, this poor man. But I didn't leave his office, feeling judged or shamed, or unloved. I felt so loved, so embraced, so accepted. With all of my imperfections and everything. It just, it was amazing. It was incredible. And so going to the temple and doing baptisms, I was like, oh my goodness, I love this. I'm 30 years old with all these 12 to 17 year olds doing baptisms. But I loved it. I loved going and I made it a priority to be there every single week, I was worried. I have a big tattoo on my arm and, oh my goodness, like, how do I go into the temple with this. But I have never felt so accepted and embraced in a place ever. And so I love that. And I was just still on this like, high of like, wow, like, this is great. I go to church, I take my son to church, and I go to the temple, this is awesome. And then they were like, the missionaries, they're like, okay, what have you thought about receiving your endowment? And I was like, I don't know what that means. Um, and what does that entail? And like, all these things, there's just a lot of questions. And so they talked to me more about it. And I was like, Yeah, I would love to. So, two senior missionaries ended up teaching me the temple discussions. Not discussions, but the temple classes. prep classes? That's it? Yeah. So we ended up doing that. And the bishop met with my husband. And he, like, showed a church video, like, Hey, this is like, the garment that your wife will be wearing after she receives her endowment and he talked to him a little bit about what the purpose of this is. And Casey seemed to be like, all right. He's very mellow, very laid back. And so I'm like, Great, this is so all going so smoothly. Um, and then, a couple days, I don't remember exactly, but it was just a few days before I was scheduled to go through the Salt Lake Temple. I still remember we were backing up in the driveway and my husband goes, I do not want you to go to the temple. There has been a darkness in our home. And life has gotten really hard since you started going to the church, and you started doing these things, and I don't want to do it anymore. And I just remember, saying okay, and I just prayed so hard saying, Heavenly Father, what am I supposed to do now? It's like this crossroad. Do I choose my husband or do I choose the gospel? And I was terrified. And I was up all night, just praying for just some sort of light to happen, something to make this better. And I just had to accept, okay, well, he just doesn't want me to do this anymore. I'm not going to break my family up for this. And so I told my husband, I said, I cannot deny what I know. But this next step won't be necessary if that means I choose that or my family. Um, the next afternoon, he came to me and he just said, I'm sorry about that. I am fine if you go through the temple, um, and I was just like, wow, that's a miracle. Like, okay, thankfully, we didn't have a lot of time to sit on that for it to change again. But I ended up going through the temple, and my husband was there. He brought my son, he supported me. He waited outside the temple through it. And it was the most powerful and real thing that I had experienced in my whole entire life, unlike anything in this world, and I think that what made me realize that was from divinity, it was from God. It was real. And so yeah, that's where, I guess my testimony just kind of grew from there.
Ashley Stone
35:57
How long ago was this, that you went through the temple?
Nichelle
35:59
I went through the temple. Let's see, I think it's been about four years, four years now.
Ashley Stone
36:08
So where, how does your husband feel about it today? Like over the last four years, how has that been? Like, has it affected your relationship? Where's he at with the church now? Like, what does that look like today?
Nichelle
36:22
So, um, you know, when I got home from the temple, and I remember him seeing me in the garment for the first time, and this is no disrespect to the garment, this is just my husband. He goes, Wow, it just kind of looks like a little jogging suit. Like, that's just it and I was like, Thank you like, he was so sweet about it. I look sporty! So I just felt like that was such a positive response from him. for that. I will say there have been challenges though. My son was not blessed. And about when he was four years old I just had this feeling that he needed to be blessed. He needed to receive a name and a blessing. And so I went to my husband and said, like, Hey, can we have our son blessed? And he was like, what does that mean? So trying to explain to him, and also being sensitive to the fact that that's asking him to be okay with another man providing him our son with something that he necessarily can't provide. But he was so gracious about it. And my son, Oak, was able to receive a name and a blessing at the age of four, which I didn't even know was possible. So that was very cool. My daughter, she received her name and a blessing about the age of one. There's timing of things that I feel like are very important to be like, Okay, now is the time for us to discuss this or to bring this up, and I have to be respectful of his viewpoints in decisions. My son will be eight years old next year. We haven't even talked about baptism yet. But that's something I feel like is important for my son to choose for himself. Whenever that is, of course, I would love for my son to be baptized and receive the Holy Ghost. That gift is so precious. But I know that God knows him. And that that will all just align as it should. I just have to trust that God really is in control of all of this. And I just have to allow it to be. Also, callings have been a bit of a challenge. I was called into our young women's presidency, called to serve a few years ago. I guess it was shortly after I'd gone through the temple. And those were hard activities, you know, weekly, were hard. He didn't understand, Why do you give a lot of time for this, like this is just a lot. And so I ended up not serving in that calling for too long. And right now I'm serving as the stake camp coordinator. And now that I'm thinking about it, I've served as the state Camp coordinator now for four years. So I must have received my endowment maybe five years ago. Sorry, sidetrack. But anyways,
Ashley Stone
39:45
And that's not easy. Like, if somebody gave me that calling, I would be like, Whoa.
Nichelle
39:53
I was like, this is a lot, but I love camping. And it almost felt like I could experience a girls camp that I never had experienced. I'd only been to girls camp twice. And so being like, wow, like, what an experience that I can go. And I've had great support from people. And he asked me this year, like you're still gonna do it? And I was like until they tell me I’m done. And we have stake camp every year. because our wards are just so small. So, yeah, there's been things like that. It's challenging, I would say, not being able to share spiritual things that may be relatable to him, in a way he would find understanding in. That's challenging. But I have found amazing friends who I can share those experiences with and I rely heavily on them. I remember coming back and being like, I don't relate to these women. I had put a stigma or judgment or a label on women in the church, that I was like, I can't relate to these women like I am so far out. But I have met one of my best friends. Shiloh, she lives two doors down and the missionaries introduced me to her. She had come to a few of the discussions and she has become one of my greatest friends and greatest blessings. And I love that I can go to her and share those and people, other women that I can go to that I have found friendship in that maybe I wouldn't have been friends with otherwise. And so, yeah,
Ashley Stone
42:00
That's awesome. Um, so how open are you to some hard questions?
Nichelle
42:05
I can, I can try.
Ashley Stone
42:08
Okay, so for our church with families being such a big thing, how has that been? Like? How do you find peace with that? Like, how do you find peace with, you know, being, you know, like, with your husband being a different faith and family being such a thing in our church? Have you had any, like things that have brought clarity? Or is there any advice you would give to somebody that's in the same situation as you maybe newer to the situation? What advice would you give, or what are your thoughts on that?
Nichelle
42:47
So I don't know if I necessarily have advice, but I do know, without a doubt, our Heavenly Father knows us. And He wants us to be happy. I know that Heavenly Father doesn't want me to spend the rest of my life without my children or my husband. And I don't know what that means. But I believe heavily in life after this, that we all have a chance to accept the gospel, and to draw close to our Savior. So that's definitely what I rely on. I've never done a temple sealing. And I was invited, actually to go to my cousin's daughter's temple sealing. And I'm like, I'm just not going. It's something that I don't know what blessings I'm missing from that. And there's a part of me that doesn't want to know, because I'm okay with just knowing where my life is right now. Just knowing that I'm doing my part. And that's all I can do. I know that the love between my husband and I is unconditional, and it's real. And whatever that means for us in this life or the next. We will see, there's definitely questions. But it's just trusting that we have a Heavenly Father that loves, loves us, and wants us to be happy. And he's gonna figure out a way to make that happen one way or another. And I have no idea what that means.
Ashley Stone
44:37
You are so amazing.I just am. I have so much respect for you. And just like your testimony, and your love for our Heavenly Father is so evident, and it's so beautiful. So thank you for that. So a couple of questions from people following my podcast, my Instagram page that they asked, How do you deal with hard questions in the church?
Nichelle
45:10
Like I feel like accepting that I don't know, is just so important, accepting, I have no idea. But again, I know that we have it. There's a Heavenly Father and mother who loves us. And just as much as I love and want the best for my children, they want the best for us in a way that I think is unfathomable. It is an unchanging, all encompassing, perfect love. And that's trusting that I don't know answers to things. I wonder about things, but I don't entertain them in a way that I then start second guessing all of my foundation, those simple gospel beliefs and core beliefs that I have. Those are what I stick to. Those are what I'm like, you know what, I can't deny this. I know for a fact this is real, and that this is true. Those other things. I don't know. My son asked me the other day, when did the dinosaurs come? I don't know. But I know that they were here at some point and that God gave them to us for a purpose. Like you know? There's so many questions that I think people have. And I think it is important that they have that. That curiosity, and they want to know the answers. I think it is great to seek out answers or comfort with resources that are actually beneficial and full of truth and accepting too that we don't know all the answers. This is a church that is of restoration, and it's still being restored. There is still so much that we don't know, there's still so much we just don't know. And I think too, there's so much in other religions that is true that maybe the church doesn't have, you know, Buddhism and Taoism, they have this stillness and this, like, this mindfulness that we don't have in the church. And so I just think that focusing on those basics is so important. Putting our focus there and allowing questions to be answered has to be okay.
Ashley Stone
47:42
Yeah. Okay. So we're running out of time, but I want to ask you a couple questions. A couple other questions. So what advice do you have for people who are unsure the church is true.
Nichelle
47:58
I think, pray about it. I know without a doubt, God hears our prayers. I don't think you have to be living life a certain way to find that answer. I think it's the desire in our hearts if we want to know. And I have to say that that answer is not going to come immediately. It may not come with this super powerful experience, but it will come because God wants us to know. And I think that desire in our heart is what brings that answer.
Ashley Stone
48:35
I love that. Okay, and this is a really good question for you. How can a parent help a child who is away without making them feel judged? What do you think? I mean, you talked about this a little bit, but there's a lot of people who reach out to me and they're like, Hey, will you ask your podcast guests, like, as a parent that has a kid that's straying away from the church? Or, you know, they're, they hate the church or whatever? Like, how can we best support them? Or, you know, obviously, we love the gospel so much, and we want our loved ones to be a part of it, because it means so much to us. And it brings us so much joy, and, and you want to share that with other people. And so, you know, how do we do that in a way that's not going to push them away more?
Nichelle
49:25
Yeah, that's a good question. Because I can think like my own husband, right, I think finding commonality, finding what we connect with and focusing on that rather than focusing on the disconnects. And I think as we deepen that connection with our child, or with a spouse, or a friend, or anyone, a neighbor, anyone that when we deepen that connection with things that are common with one another, that those differences don't seem to be as important. And just showing that love no matter what, um, you know, my husband, he drinks and, you know, we have beer in our fridge, and finding patience in just knowing that's his life. He is a great father. He is an amazing husband. And he drinks beer, we're okay. You know, he prays at the dinner table with us. He allows me to take our children to church every Sunday, he allows me to teach our children about the Savior, and about our Heavenly Father, why we are here on this earth. Like, that's all I need. And I think with our children, loving them, just building that relationship, again, that connection with, with our children, letting them know that they're important and loved and cared about. That's all we can do. They have their agency, they just need to be loved. And that's it. And they'll figure it out. They'll figure it out, whether it's in this life or the next life. I 100% rely on that hope of life after this, that we are all given the opportunity to know of truth. And I think that's so important. We have that.
Ashley Stone
51:22
Yeah. I love that. I asked my dad this question on my first episode, and I said, you know, when I was, you know, 18 Whatever, I was totally a heroin addict. My parents were dealing with me, my sister got pregnant when she was 16. You know, like, we were not the cookie cutter family. Like, we were not, we were not the picture perfect, church, going family. And I asked my dad, like, you know, how did he feel members responded to him, because I think that can be something that will make people not want to go to church, if they feel like, I don't fit in. I don't have this picture perfect family and I don't really fit in. So like, people are gonna judge me, they're gonna think I'm not as good or whatever. You know, you're not the traditional, like, husband, wife going to church family, like, Do you have any? Like, what's been your experience with that? Like, do you feel like people are, you know, judging you? Or do you feel like they've been welcoming? What has been your experience with that?
Nichelle
52:38
You know, I haven't felt judged. Like I said, when I went into church, for the first time, in several years, I just prayed. And then I just kept repeating, like, almost like a mantra to myself, like, I am going here for God, I'm going here for God, This is between me and God, I am not here for anyone else. But myself. You know, that is it. And so I think that's what kind of kept me in that space of like, if someone else is going to think like, what is this lady doing here with, you know, a tattoo on her arm or her husband's not a member or whatever, like, I'm sure people have those questions. But that's not been a focus or something that I have noticed. I have been very embraced by this super, down to earth loving ward family that knows where I am in life, and the status of my family, and they love me for me and love my family and I've felt nothing but embraced from them, which I couldn't ask for any better response. I feel like the majority of judgment is what we make up in our heads, we tell ourselves these things, and we're like, oh, my gosh, people are gonna think all these things about me. And it's just not the case.
Ashley Stone
54:03
I am so happy that you said that, because it was the same experience for me going back, like, you know, I'm fresh out of rehab, I'm, you know, just, I picture was on the, the county website for going into jail, like, people know what's going on. And well, you said, I'm going for God and my relationship with God, and people aren't, they don't really care anyways. And if they do, like, yeah, who cares what they think, because I'm here for God. And it's almost really freeing, you know, when you're at that point where it's like, you know, I really don't care what you think. I am here. Yeah, my relationship with God, it's a pretty incredible thing to be in that space. So I love that. I think that your story is incredible. and 100 percent podcast worthy. And I am just so happy to meet you. And I think that you're amazing. So thank you so much for taking this time to be on my podcast and share your story.
Nichelle
55:12
Well, thank you for listening to me through all my blubbering mess and tangents, and all the things. I think what you're doing truly is amazing. I think it's so important for us to hear those reasons why people come back, no matter what that comeback looks like. Like I just think we all have a story to share. And I think what you're doing truly is such a blessing to hear. So thank you for doing it. And thank you for giving me the opportunity.
Ashley Stone
51:23
Well, thank you so much.
