"We went to visit a kid who wanted to serve a mission so his dad comes out and says "I haven't come to church because I'm too embarrassed to come to church. I drink, and I haven't had a job for a year." I got a burning in my bosom and that was the first time I had that, ever. So I knew I needed to speak up and I told him my story. We were standing outside in 26 degree weather teaching them lessons and I couldn't have felt warmer. That family started slowly coming back over the next few months and are now really strong in the gospel."
Come Back Podcast
Transcript
ASHLY
00:15
Mark, I am so excited to have you on the podcast. We'll just go ahead and jump right in if you're okay with that.
MARK
Yeah, that's fine.
ASHLY
Okay, awesome. So, it was interesting because you shared your story with me. And I shared it with Lauren, who's my producer. And she responded to me because her sister has diabetes, and she has been really close with that her whole life. And a friend that her sister knows was really going through a really hard time with it. And so, Lauren was like, “I can't believe this is the story that you just sent me because this is something that's really been on my heart and on my mind,” and so it was just kind of a tender mercy for her. And so, it's just really cool that you reached out when you did, and we're just so excited to have you on the podcast and to hear your story. So yeah, we'd love to just have you start. Would love to hear a little bit of background about you, what you do for work, or your family, or a little bit of an intro, and then we can just go right into it.
MARK
01:25
I’m Mark. I don't work right now, with transplants and everything, I was on disability before that. So, I've been on disability since 2016, and I haven't worked since then.
I’ve been struggling health wise, for all those years since then. But since I've been back in church, I've been in a better place mentally and physically. I've gotten a good support system with my family. I’m Samoan, I come from a big family. Seven kids, my dad, he was a bishop, the first bishop of a ward they started over here. So, we grew up strong in the Church, born in the Church, and it was a family full of black sheep. Just one of my siblings stayed in church, got married in the temple, the rest of us fell away, did our own thing.
ASHLY
02:30
So, when you were a kid, do you feel like you had a testimony of the Church? Do you feel like you felt like the Church was true? Or what was kind of your experience as a kid?
MARK
I never felt like the Church was true. That's because that’s all what I knew, going to church every Sunday. At church, we’d always say, “I know this church is true.” And that's where I got it like, me and my family. Just because we fell away, we still believe, we just didn't go to church every Sunday. With me, I felt unworthy to go to church because I was out on the weekends partying, and smoking, and drinking, so I didn't want to ask for forgiveness. I knew I was going to do it again, so I just stopped going.
ASHLY
03:27
So, what kind of led to your stepping away? I mean, what point was that you started drinking and you made the conscious decision to step away?
MARK
03:26
It wasn't an overnight decision, like, “you know, I'm gonna stop going to church.” My dad, he used to kind of force us to go to church. But after we got into 16-17, he just would ask, “Hey, you guys going to church now?” And I just got lazier and lazier and didn't want to go. And I'd rather go out with my friends than go to church.
So, I didn't have a testimony of the Church. Because I heard all the lessons, but I didn't really know. I couldn't tell you anything about the Book of Mormon back then. So, that's how I just I kind of gradually stopped going.
ASHLY
04:30
So then, tell us what happened with your diabetes. When did you first find out that you had it? If I sound really ignorant, it's because I don't know a ton about it. But when did you first find out that you had it? And what did that feel like when you found out?
MARK
04:33
Diabetes runs in my family. My dad has it. My brother has it. And then I found out when I was on a camping trip with scouts, and I was drinking everything in sight. I was drinking water, soda, and they were hiding drinks from me because I would drink it all.
And so, we went to Arkansas, and I got beat up bad by mosquitoes. And they're like the biggest mosquito bites you've ever seen. Like lumps. And so, when I went to the doctor for a physical, they tested my blood and he's like, “Oh, you're diabetic,” and it didn't really register.
So, I guess I was okay with it. But then it just started to become a lot. Shots every day, checking your blood sugars, and having to eat this, you can't eat that, just feeling restricted. And I just wanted to be like other kids growing up, like how they could eat whatever they wanted and not care.
ASHLY
05:51
You said you were drinking and partying and stuff like that? How was that? How did that affect your diabetes and your treatment with it?
MARK
My friends, they were drinking smoking. I was the one that wasn't drinking and smoking. My nickname was Bishop because of my dad. And so, I wasn't drinking and smoking. I didn't start smoking until I was 17, and I didn't start drinking until I was 24. I was everybody designated driver.
But drinking and smoking takes a big effect on your health. I mean, without diabetes, it takes a big effect, but with diabetes, it just hastens the effects.
ASHLY
So, you said you went all that time without drinking and smoking and stuff. What was it that finally made you want to try it? I can relate to that. I was drugs and alcohol, and the whole thing, and mine started when I was 14. So, I'm curious to know how you waited that long, and then at 24, you finally trying it.
MARK
With smoking, I just wanted to impress a girl. But drinking, I was always the quiet one in our group. I talked to people I know. But I wanted to let loose, I was tired of not being able to speak. And so that's when I started drinking. Having the liquid courage gave me a voice.
ASHLY
I can relate to that. So, tell me about how when things started to go downhill for you,
MARK
7:34
You can see my eye is messed up. My left, I am completely blind in my left eye. So, one morning, I woke up, after just partying and drinking. One morning, I woke up, and I didn't notice it at first, but when I started driving, everything was red. Like the sky and everything. And I just got concerned. And I turned the car around. And then I went to the eye doctor, and he’s like “You're bleeding on the inside of your eyes.” I forgot what they call it, but it was because of diabetes. And so that went wrong. And then everything else started to go wrong with my health. I had a staph infection in my leg, I had to get four surgeries, I got like 35 stitches on my thigh. So, it all started to hit around that same time. Like 2016. And then I think in 2018 is when I had to be put on dialysis because of my kidneys.
ASHLY
So, for anyone that doesn't know what dialysis is, can you explain dialysis. I've heard it, just tell me a little bit more about what dialysis is and what that means for your life.
MARK
You're not able to pee anymore, you can't pee yourself. And so, if you don't pee, you're gonna build a toxin from that because that's how you clean your system is when you use the bathroom. And without doing that, it's gonna build up and build up in your blood. So, dialysis cleans your blood through a machine that runs in and out and comes right back to you/
ASHLY
What was that like to have to have your whole life change like that?
MARK
It didn't come all at once. It came over like three years, and so I guess I was kind of used to it. I tried to take everything in stride. It's not the end, you know? I know other people have it worse than I do. And I just try to be positive. Me being mad doesn't make the time go faster. It’s not gonna pass the time any faster. So, that's my outlook on everything.
ASHLY
Right. So, I have your post up.
Okay, listeners, I have a cold so excuse any coughs.
So, I have your post that you sent me and it is so amazing. I love it so much. It says that in September of 2020, you did the Book of Mormon challenge. And with that challenge, you read seven pages a day for 77 days. So, it says, since you read it through the gospel library app, you finished it in 53 days. What was it that made you want to start that challenge?
MARK
10:35
Me and this girl, we met online through the LDS Mutual dating app. And we started going out, and she didn't tell me like, “Hey, you better go back to church.” She just set an example. And me being a son of a bishop, I was like, “Man, I need to do better.” So, I saw a friend of mine on Facebook, he posted the Book of Mormon challenge. I was like, “I can do that.” So, I started reading it prior to September 1.
And instantly, I felt better. Like, not physically, but like, mentally I felt better. I’m finally learning what I need to. And as a teenager, we make the excuse, like, “Oh, it's so hard to understand.” But when you really want to understand it, you can. Everything aside from 2nd Nephi where the Isaiah chapters are, everything else was easy for me to pick up.
ASHLY
You said that you began to see blessings instantly in your life. What were some of those blessings that you started to see,
MARK
I had more energy to do stuff. I was still trying to keep in shape, like workout shape. I didn't want to just not do anything. I wanted to try to be productive throughout the day. I felt like I had more energy to do things.
And then, later, in September, I was trying to get on the transplant list, and I got the call to be approved to be on the transplant list. I got the call on Tuesday, like, “Hey, you're approved, everything's good go, be prepared. So, when we call you, you have to be prepared to drop everything.” I was like, “Okay.” I got the call on Tuesday, and I didn't expect to be called back so fast on that Saturday. And so that was the biggest blessing I saw.
ASHLY
Yeah. You said that people wait years on the transplant list, and even more people die waiting to be on the list. So, how surreal was that for you to be selected so quickly?
MARK
13:03
It was so surreal. I couldn't believe it. People wait years. when I lived in Vegas, they said the wait list was probably about three to five or something crazy, crazy long. But I feel like Heavenly Father kind of lined up my life because I started doing transplants stuff in Las Vegas. And over there, you have to wait longer in Vegas than you do over here in Missouri because we're pulling from right in the middle of the United States. We're pulling from everywhere, so we get stuff faster. But me having to come here, they do a kidney and a pancreas transplant. And they don't do that in Vegas. They only do it in some states. And so, I got the kidney and pancreas, and now I don't have to worry about diabetes anymore.
ASHLY
Wow, are you serious? That is amazing. That is so incredible. So, in your post, I'm gonna just read a little bit of it because it's so awesome. It says, “During the Book of Mormon challenge, I read what is one of my favorite scripture verses: Alma chapter 37 verse 6, and it says ‘through small and simple things are great things brought to pass.’ I didn't make all these big changes overnight. I went day-by-day, I had a lot of physical challenges and trials with my health. Some I didn't think I'd make it through. One specifically, I asked myself, ‘Why did I make it through that? What is my purpose? What am I meant to do?’ And now I know.”
So, tell me a little bit about what you feel like your purpose is now and why you were preserved the way you were?
MARK
14:53
Missionary work. President Nelson challenges us to gather Israel on both sides of the veil. And so, that's what I try to do right now. Just within the last couple of weeks, I just got called to be my ward mission leader.
ASHLY
So cool. That is so amazing.
MARK
15:01
I've learned from, Christ-like examples. I used to be in a ward where they got 38 baptisms in two years, not even the whole two years, like 18 months. And so, just learning from my ward mission leader, they're like a father figure in my life, just learning how he does it. I try to use that.
After I got the transplant, I was feeling sick, and I was just vomiting all day. And this was during the pandemic. So, I knew I didn't have COVID, I knew there had to be something with the transplant. But I wanted to ask the elders for blessing, and they're supposed to come and visit. So, I was like, “okay, I don't want to cancel them. Let me ask them to give me a blessing when they come.”
And when they came, the elder, he's like, “okay, yeah,” and gives me blessing. And when he gave me a blessing of health, and he's like, “You know, Heavenly Father loves you, He wants you to know that. He's happy you made the decision to come back, and that your purpose on this earth is missionary work.” I started to tear up when he did that. And when he said that, because I had been praying for months because I was like, “what am I still doing here? What's my purpose here? Let me know, in a way that I can understand.” And to me, that was the best way.
What I didn't mention in the post was, on my way to the hospital, I just threw up one more time. But then when I'm in there, the doctor says, “Oh, yeah, something's kind of wrong with your transplant, you might have to wear a tube coming out of your stomach. That might have to be permanent.” And so, I'm back, trying to do this, I'm trying to do everything, like. “what's going wrong?” But then, probably a couple hours later, he’s like, “okay, yeah, you can go home.” I was like, “what about this?” And he was like, “oh, no, we're gonna take that out. But yeah, you don't have to. Everything's okay. You can go home.” Just small tender mercies just like that just kind of strength is my testimony.
ASHLY
Wow, that is so amazing. I just think it's really cool that you said your purpose is missionary work, and having you here on the podcast, sharing the miracles that have happened in your life, it's just a perfect example of the missionary work that God has called you to do.
And it's so cool. And I just think that those hard things that we go through and come out, I don't know if you've heard my story on the podcast, but I struggled with a heroin addiction. And it's crazy, because it was the most horrible thing of my life, but it's turned into something that I can use for good. I can use it to let other people know of the Savior's atoning sacrifice, and that it's really for me, and it's really for you, and it does heal people.
And I think that sometimes when we wonder, like, “Why does God allow us to go through such hard things and such horrible things with disease and addiction and all these things,” but it's like, “all these things. They can be gifts, if you turn to God and allow Him to turn them into gifts.”
My mom, she went through breast cancer, and she went through chemo and radiation, and she lost all her hair. And she was super, super sick. And we were all super distraught over it. And she has mentioned many times that that was some of the most spiritual times she's had in her life. Some of the most spiritual experience she's had was when she was going through that.
And, I think it's in The Crucible of Doubt (one of the books that we've read recently in our book club) that mentions the sanctification process of trials. Going through trials and how it sanctifies you and that's what I hear in your story. It's like you were given this really hard thin, this challenge that you've had to face and you've turned it into something amazing, and I just think that's so beautiful and so awesome.
MARK
I think trials keep us humble. If I would have won the lottery in my 20s and had everything, I wouldn't have been humble. I think people have to hit a certain point to where they're like,
I can't do it anymore by myself. I need Heavenly Father; I need Jesus in my life.”
Someone told one of my sisters when she asked, “How come we don’t ever win the lottery? Aren't we good people?” And usually, that's to keep you humble. And so that's how I try to do things. My dad was a real humble guy, so I try to take after him.
ASHLY
I love that so much. And I wholeheartedly agree. I think that our trials refine us and they make us better people and more appreciative and grateful for where we are.
So, what advice would you have for somebody that's going through maybe some really hard health challenges? Or they're facing really hard challenges in their life? What advice would you give to them?
MARK
21:32
Job. The story of Job. Everything he went through, it wasn't because Heavenly Father hated him, it was because Heavenly Father had faith in him to overcome them. He knew he could overcome Satan.
I try to not dwell on those things. An idle mind is the devil’s playground. And so, if you just sit there and think about “why me”, you're gonna soak in the negativity. And I try not to do that.
ASHLY
Yeah. Yeah, I agree. 100%. What are some of the things that you do to stay busy or stay close to the gospel and close to Heavenly Father? What are those things that you do?
MARK
22:25
Anytime me and my mento can go out and do some missionary. If he calls and asks, like, “Yeah, let's go.” But if I'm by myself, I try to listen to church talks. My favorite is Gordon Hinckley and Deiter Uchtdorf. Those are my favorite two speakers. I can listen to some of their talks over and over.
ASHLY
They are so good.
Mark
I try to do that. I used to listen to a lot of rap – I still do sometimes –, but I'm trying to focus more on other types of music. Like oldies or even church hymns. People might think I'm crazy, but I do. When I do workout, sometimes I'm listening to church hymns in my air pods.
ASHLY
I love that. That is so awesome. I think when I was coming back to church, I felt the same way. I was really into rap. And it's funny, because now when I try to listen to some of my old music, and it's the edited version, because I'm trying to, you know, keep it clean. And I'm like, “Oh my gosh, even the edited version, I can't believe this was my favorite song when I was 18. Oh, my word.” So, that's funny, and I totally can relate to that. Things that invite the spirit to be close to you.
You mentioned earlier that you felt like you couldn't come to church because you were doing things and you weren't worthy to go. What advice would you have for somebody that maybe feels that way, they feel unworthy to come back to church.
MARK
24:20
When I came back to church, I realized that Satan wanted me to feel unworthy to keep me away. If you don’t come, then you're letting him win. Church wasn't made for the saints, it was made for the sinners to go in and try to reach hard. To say, “OK, I missed it yesterday. I can do better today or I can do better tomorrow.” We all need inspiration; we all need to be around the spirit.
ASHLY
Yeah, for sure. How long have you been out in Missouri? Where were you at before then? And how long have you been out there, and is your family out there?
MARK
I was born and raised in Independence, Missouri. I moved to Vegas for a year with my brother. Like I said, I feel like Heavenly Father moved my life around.
I started dialysis before I went to Vegas, and they're like, “you know you're gonna have to quit smoking?” And I was like, “I can't quit smoking, I'm probably not going to get a transplant, I can't quit smoking.” But then, I went out to live in Vegas with my brother. And he's the one that is still active in the Church. And so, he has kids, I didn't want to be a bad example. So, I quit smoking. I smoked my last cigarette at the airport. And when I got to Vegas, I didn't smoke after that. And I still haven’t.
ASHLY
Wow, that is not an easy thing to do.
MARK
I know. But he wasn't going to take me to the store to buy cigarettes or anything. So, I just decided to quit. And then, I came back to Missouri to visit. And I wanted to come back, I wanted to drink with my friends. I didn't. I only went to church with him and his family, just to go.
Came back, and me and my friends went out, and I got really drunk. And it was bad. And so, I think I might have had alcohol poisoning because I was throwing up non-stop again. And I was in and out of the hospital for like two weeks. And I was like, “Man, it's not worth it. It’s not worth it to my body to go for a couple of hours of fun to be in the hospital in and out for two weeks.”
So, I had to quit drinking after that. And so that made it easier to be on the transplant list. That made it easier to see how the Lord works. And then like I said, Vegas doesn't have the pancreas transplant. And so, we didn't move back to Missouri for transplants, it was time for us to move back to Missouri. So, we did.
And then my doctor at the dialysis center is like, “okay, yeah, we'll get you a kidney transplant.” And then I say, “Oh, hey, I thought you said I was gonna go to St. Luke's?” And he says, “No, KU does a kidney and pancreas, so you wouldn't have to worry about diabetes anymore.” And I was like, “Okay.”
ASHLY
What a blessing, that is so amazing! Wow, you have a really incredible story. And I am so happy and grateful that you reached out to me and were willing to share because so many people need to hear this. And I just love how you just have such a perspective of “get through it and have faith” and I just love that. So, thank you so much.
MARK
27:46
I love doing missionary work. In my old ward, I was kind of barely coming back to church, but my mentor came and visited me. And then I really started to go. But then they called me to be a ward missionary. I was like, “I don't even talk to people like that. I wouldn't make a good one.” And our first night out, it was freezing, it was like 46 degrees. We go visit this guy who had a son who was thinking about going on a mission. And the dad comes out, and he's like, “I haven't been to church because I'm embarrassed. I drink. I haven't had a job in a year. I'm embarrassed to come to church because I drink.”
And I had this burning in my bosom, it's the first time I've had that, like ever. And it was like, “Hey, you need to speak up.” And so, I told him my story. I was like, “I was embarrassed too. I felt unworthy. But Satan wants you to feel like that.” That family wasn't active, and so we reactivated them.
We were standing outside in 26-degree weather and we're teaching lessons. And like, I couldn't have felt warmer being outside in 26-degree weather.
Him and his family started slowly coming back over the next few and then they started there as some of the strongest families. They moved to Texas, and from what I hear now, two of their kids are putting their mission papers in, ready to go.
ASHLY
Oh, my gosh, that just gave me the chills.
MARK
If my story helps anybody, I love to tell it. I love giving talks in church. I never thought I’d love giving talks. I've never thought I’d love going out and doing missionary work. I never thought I'd be doing all of this ward mission leader. Three years ago, you couldn't have told me that you know?
ASHLY
Wow. That is so cool. Well, I just appreciate you being on the podcast so much. I mean, this is amazing. It’s so cool to see how God works all things for the good of those who love Him, including alcoholism, including diabetes, and all things. He can work them to the good of those who love Him.
And that is so evident in your story. And just that story with that family and how you went through this with alcohol and you were ashamed. And then you were able to use that as a tool to help a family come back. It's so amazing. So awesome.
Well, any other any other thoughts before we wrap up?
MARK
That post, I wrote that in August for the sisters in my ward, they asked me to write it. And then somebody shared it again like last week, and I was like “Oh, let me try to send this in. Maybe I can be on the podcast.” I found your podcast off of the Saints Unscripted. I listened to a lot of the episodes, I'm a big fan.
ASHLY
Oh, awesome. I love it. Well, I'm a big fan of you. So, thank you so much for just sharing your story. And if you don't mind, I'm going to share this post on our on our Facebook page.
MARK
Thank you for having me. Thank you for what you're doing.
